Major Misadventures in South Park
by bloodynight21
Summary: Eventual Style and immediate Kyman. Don't like dont read.I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK wish I did XD R&R! LemonLime Slash NOT PWP!
1. Raisins

Kyle Broflovski woke disoriented with a migraine in. . . . Cartman's bedroom? The massive blob of Cartman's gelatinous form blurred into Kyle's view.

"Come on Jew we're going to Raisins with the guys," said Cartman.

Kyle puzzled retorted, "When were those plans made?"

Cartman was quite exasperated at Kyle," God dammit Jew! We have planned this for weeks! Now get your pants on!"

Kyle only just realized that he was pant-less on Cartman's bed. He now remembered what had happened and shuddered strongly. He and Cartman had engaged in . . . relations. Kyle had fallen into Cartman's trap. Cartman told him that he had converted to Judaism and he . . . celebrated. Kyle put on his clothes and his forest green hat that he had had since his extremely early childhood. Cartman and him walked downstairs were Kyle picked up a coca-cola and Cartman made himself Powdered Donut Pancake surprise. When they heard a car, horn outside they strolled out to Stan's jet black Ford Escape minivan. In the car there was Stan and Wendy in the front, Kenny and the newest whore, Allison, and now Kyle and Cartman. Butters was chasing after the car too. When they arrived at Raisins, they were seated promptly by Mercedes, who immediately focused on Kenny's attention. Wendy violently exclaimed to Stan:

"Stan if you look at any of these floozies, I'll make your life a living hell, and I'll leave you!"

Stan nodded distractedly; he was staring into the vicinity of Kyle's face. Cartman pointed out that Kenny and Allison were missing and inquired their whereabouts.

"Probably getting STD's behind the dumpster in the back!" exclaimed Stan.

Everyone at the table laughed wildly. As the night came to a close Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Wendy walked home because Kenny had the keys and no one wanted to interrupt his affairs, as if that was an option!

_**Authors Note:**_

_**So first chapter of first story is done. I guess mediocre, but I digress. Anyway…. Whatever..**_


	2. On the Bus

The next morning at the bus stop . . . .

Kenny said " So….. I got a new girlfriend today."

All the others were perplexed seeing as it was last night that Kenny already had a new girlfriend, Allison.

" Who is it this time Kenny?," inquired Stan

"One of the Raisins girls, . .., ugh!, what is her name! Muh – Muh –M something . . . MERCEDES!!!!! Yes finally Mercedes!!! Good finally I remembered."

The rest of the boys were speechless. Had Kenny really had so many girlfriends that he could remember her name the first day of their conceived relationship?

Nevertheless, when Ms. Crabtree pulled the bus up at the stop, they all got on board. When Stan sat next to Wendy, she promptly moved away. Puzzled, Stan inquired

"Wendy, what's wrong?"

"Huh," Wendy said distractedly," Stan, I-I think we need to- to take – take a break."

"WHAT-------- WHAT!!!!! AGAIN!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! AGAIN!!! YOU STUPID ASS CUNT!!! I HATE YOU!!! YOU KNOW WHAT FINE!!! THANK YOU!!!" Retaliated Stan.

Infuriated, Stan got up to sit with Kyle, at least he would understand. Stan started to rant and he was yelling.

"Oh-Oh Stan, WHAT ARE YOU DOING STAN!!!!!"

_**Author's Note:**_

_**BWHAHAHHAH I torture you by waiting for me to finish the next chapter!!!!!!**_

_**R&R **_


	3. Off the Bus

Stan and Kyle had engaged in a barrage of kisses, sucking the air out of each other's mouth. Kyle even got caught up in the moment and took off his shirt. Then Bebe peered around the seat corner and saw them making out!

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" Bebe squealed.

"Ew, two guys kissing, _I'm___gonna tell Clyde and Wendy, the most popular kids in school. And _they're_ gonna ruin your lives, you groping gay perverts!"

Remarks like these erupted all over the bus. When Eric found out he climbed into the overhead bin to watch them and take pictures for future blackmail purposes. When everyone else exited the bus, Stan and Kyle didn't get the memo and stayed. When Mr. Mackey went on a sweep to find lost stuff, trash, etc, when he came upon Stan and Kyle he instinctively grabbed them apart by the ears. Fuck! Whether you're in 4th grade or 11th grade that still hurts! When he threw them to the merciless feet of Principal Victoria, she called their parents (dun-dun-dun!). The fountain of disbelief poured from Sheila Broflovski, without discretion.

"What, What, What!!!! You must be mistaken, _my_ little bubbala, Kyle, would never, I repeat _never_ do anything of that nature!" Sheila screamed in her semi-New Yorker, semi-Boston accent.

"Be that as it may Mrs. Broflovski, you little, oh what was that you called him. . . bub . . .boo-boo . . . "bubbala" was kissing a boy! Come to the school immediately!"

Meanwhile, in the principal's office Stan and Kyle were being interrogated and lectured simultaneously by Mr. Mackey it was a lot like this:

"Uh . . . I'm prescribing therapy uh – extensive therapy, Hm-kay, cause kissing those of the same gender is bad, it's bad, Hm-kay, then that leads to the HIV virus, Hm-kay, and then Hm-kay when you die of the HIV then, Hm-kay, you go to Hell, Hm-kay."

_**Author's Note**_

_**Ah, American stupidity regarding AIDS and gay/lesbian relations, so very ignorant. Anyway keep reading for Kyle's mom's bitching and later a special chapter with IKE oh yeah Kyle's Canadian adoptive brother, in 8**__**th**__** grade!! What will ensue later… crappy outro whatever R&R!! XD **_


End file.
